More than just a newspaper

Most mornings I give the newspaper no more than a cursory glance.

I scan the headlines, read the stuff I didn't see online the day before, or hear about on television. But it's rare that I just sit and savor the paper anymore.

For a while I just figured that like too many news consumers I had changed my news gathering habits. But after a weekend in Austin I'm sure that's not the case.

When I was there, I not only read the paper, I enjoyed it. Sure I scoffed at some of the Michael Jackson coverage and the length of some of the stories, but I enjoyed reading the paper.

I enjoyed it because it was just that - simply a newspaper. I don't know really know anything about the American-Statesman, so the questions and commentary that often filter through my mind when I read the Star-Telegram weren't there.

I didn't look at a byline and think that I hadn't seen that person in the paper in more than a week, or wonder why reporters who used to write several stories a week were now down to occasional. I didn't laugh at pieces I knew were indulging the writer, more than the reader.

I have friends who were jettisoned from the Star-Telegram in earlier rounds who now subscribe to the once dreaded Dallas Morning News, rather than the S-T. Another bitterly talked of not being able to read the paper or the website even.

I now understand why.

For print folks the newspaper has always been more than just a newspaper. It's a major part of the world, a world that in the last couple of years has become barely recognizable.

There's no way to look at it without thinking about what it was or what it could have been. So sometimes it's just easier not to look at it at all.

Now I can't subscribe to the DMN, nope not going to go there, but if my husband and mother didn't still read the paper religiously, I'm not sure I would still have the Star-Telegram delivered to my door.

It's not that I don't like the paper or that it isn't still a good paper. I know the people there are working harder than ever in what can only be described as impossible conditions.

The stumbling block for me is that it's a shell of the paper that I loved and a constant reminder of all that has been lost.

In time I hope that when it comes to the Star-Telegram my old reading habits will return as the memories fade. But until then, I'll look forward to out of town trips so I can read the paper.